The Fear of Failure

Laying awake at night, thinking back through the day-you sometimes wonder what the purpose of it all is. You lay there unable to weep, unable to be angry, unable to really understand why you are feeling what you feel, but as the internal darkness seems more hopeless, only one voice echoes in your mind, and it repeats itself over and over “Failure. . .failure. . .failure” Some of you may not understand what I am talking about- either because you never fail or you have not been gripped with an utter sense of inability and failure. I believe that many people have such constitutions that failure rolls off of them like a river rushing over an embankment. Some people are built in such a way, or they have developed the ability to not let discouragement and disappointment affect them. I am not one of those people and I assume there are many like me (although we tend to keep it a secret). The world’s philosophy of dealing with feelings of failure is generally to ignore it. They ignore it by an emphasis on “self-realization” or “self-awareness.” Just tell yourself you are a success; and you will be a success, oh and this pill will probably help too (I am not suggesting all medications for depression are wrong, but I do believe our world over-medicates). Some people deal with feelings of failure by retreating to a fantasy world-whether it is an illicit affair, pornography, materialism, eating habits, habitual vices, technology, cosmetic enhancements, etc.–many deal with their failure by simply engaging in a “more fulfilled” alternate reality. Still, there are some who are so caught up with their sense of failure that they try to escape this world finally through committing suicide. But what happens when a Christian is overwhelmed by these same feelings of failure? As followers of Jesus Christ, we know in our heads that the world’s answers are not God’s answers. And although we may attempt at times to defeat our feelings of failure by those worldly means, we are left empty just as the non-believer is. How we think has a profound effect on what we do, and how we think about ourselves and God impacts our fears and sense of failure. Therefore, what we think about ourselves and God will determine if we are resting in God or overwhelmed by fear and feelings of failure. What then must a Christian do, or more aptly what then must a Christian think…consider?

1. Realize that we are failures. Our society has created perfection as its goal to the degree that anything less than absolutely glorious is miserable indeed. Magazines tout the perfect bodies (digitally altered of course), we portray ourselves in social media as smiling, happy, and perfectly content–with the perfect life. Advertisements are perfect (have you ever noticed that the hamburger on the billboard looks absolutely nothing like the one you ordered). Famous people are perfect…until they are not, then we just find another “perfect” hero to be enthralled with. But the reality is that not only are we not perfect, but we as humans don’t even register on the goodness radar. Ever since sin entered this world, every soul born into this world is depraved and hell-bent on being, well. . . hell-bent. Failure is in our DNA ever since the first epic sin-failure removed us from God’s paradise. So one of the reasons we have feelings of failure is because we fail. The regenerated soul, the Christian, has a new nature and the old depravity is gone, but according to Romans 6 & 7; we still have the remnants of the flesh warring against our Spirit leading us into spiritual failure. Paul the Apostle said at the end of his life that he had not attained or was already made perfect. Of course we must understand that even though we feel like a failure because we often fail, to the Christian, this does not define him. I may be a failure in my flesh, but I am a victor in Jesus Christ.

2. Realize that God is not a failure. This is not very complex, but it is something that we need to desperately think upon. God does not make mistakes, he cannot fail to do all his will, or else he would not be justly called “God.” Even our failures are victories for the glory of God. God doesn’t just use bad circumstances for his glory and man’s good, but He uses man’s blatant sin for God’s glory and man’s good. God used the immorality of David to produce Solomon; God used the raging violence of the Babylonians to draw his people back to himself; God used the self-aggrandizement of Cyrus to rebuild his temple; and God used the mockery and illegal trial and death of Jesus to provide saints with redemption. This does not make God the originator of evil, but it does mean he is the orchestrator of evil. Picture a symphony led by a great conductor with all the normal sections, the brass, woodwinds, percussion, etc. The conductor is leading this symphony when the third tuba player breaks off into a series of errors even willfully during the fifth movement. The maestro conducts on; and at the end of the symphony, the media raves about the orchestration, but especially, the tuba solo in the fifth movement-“It was marvelous,” they say. The tuba player extremely embarrassed looks at the maestro’s music and to his surprise discovers that his “error” was actually written into the conductor’s script. The conductor did not cause the deviation, but it was never outside of his control. In fact, he used it for his glory and the tubist’s and entire symphony’s good. Our failures never surprise God; he even is using them for his glory and our good.

3. Understand that growth only comes through failure. Because we are so adept in society today at dismissing someone, especially a public figure who fails- delighting in the dirt beamed through 24 hour news media; we tend to label people based upon their failures. A man may have raised three godly children, but because his fourth is a hellion, he feels he will be forever known by his failure-and he is probably right. Sometimes within conservative (fundamental) Christianity, we refuse to view the body of one’s work when making judgments about their success or failure. Instead of giving them the benefit of a poor choice (at least in our estimation) we nail them to wall and staple the label of “Failure” across their forehead. And so many times we are afraid that no one will remember the good, but only the failure. But this fear is an absence of faith. Jesus asked the disciples in Mark 4:40, “Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith?” When we are discouraged with the voice screaming at us “Failure” we are generally afraid of the circumstances surrounding us. The disciples were in a bad circumstance in the midst of a violet storm, but Jesus calmed the wind and sea instantly with the words, “Peace, be still!” Peter needed to sink in his water-treading attempt in order to become the Peter of Acts 2–the bold preacher of the Gospel. Paul needed to persecute the church in order to build the church. John needed to be a “Son of Thunder” to become “the Beloved.” Why? because God uses our failures to grow us into what we must become. Please don’t misunderstand, we don’t need to create failure… it creates itself; but instead of hiding under the covers because of our failures, use them to grow nearer to Christ and his character. A quick side-note. . . allow others to fail so that they might grow too.

4. Believe your value as a child of grace. When we are struggling with feelings of failure, we don’t tend to consider ourselves as being under God’s favor. Generally, we feel that we have done something to offend him or at least we disappoint him. If you are a born again Christian, you are highly favored by God through Jesus Christ. . . period. Read Romans 5 and Romans 8, and if you still come away feeling like a second class Christian, read it again. We are sinners, yes, but we are redeemed sinners who are resting in the grace of God for the whole of our salvation. We are the bride gift of the Father to the Son–an eternal bride gift. And yes, God chose the weak things of the world to confuse the wise. This is not some self-appreciation mumbo-jumbo, but truly resting our identity in the personal identity of Jesus Christ. This is what justification by grace is. This is not ignoring sinful failures by any means, but it is realizing that in Jesus Christ, you are forgiven and you have a new identity. You are no longer a failure, but a saint who fails. Failure is not who you are, it is what you do in the weakness of the flesh.

There is much more that can be said, but this is enough for now. My final thoughts are this. Most of the time we spend more time than we should in self-pity when we fail. Get up, get with God, and serve others as the treasured slaves of God. When we view ourselves properly and God properly, we will begin to love others properly.