July 21, 2001, I married the love of my life and my best friend. Speaking earthly, it was the most enjoyable day of my life. Simply put, we had so much fun! I remember clearly standing at the front of that large church building waiting with sweat on my neck for the service to begin. I also remember just moments before I heard the wedding march a strange sensation in my stomach. I suddenly thought, “What if she doesn’t want to marry me? What if she has changed her mind? What if I have changed my mind? A lifetime is a long time.” (I know, sounds real romantic, huh?) But as soon as I saw my soon to be wife start walking down the aisle of that church on that Saturday afternoon, my heart slowed down, all fears vanished and a massive smile swept across my face. She was beautiful! Being the sort who is contrary to tradition, we had already taken pictures and so I had seen her in her lovely gown. I had admired her styled hair, and I had smelled her intoxicating scent. It seemed, however, that now, at that moment, I was seeing her again for the first time. Everything was different that moment. What gripped me the most about my beloved that day was her smile. Our eyes locked from across the building and she smiled! Oh that smile still appears to me in my dreams. Whereas before I had a momentary lapse into fear of the unknown, now I was delighted, comfortable, joyful, and at peace because my beloved accepted me.
Of course you know that I intend to apply this spiritually. Please do not become distracted with the inability of my wedding day experience to perfectly mirror the spiritual. I know all illustrations fail at some point. While recognizing this, I also cannot help but remember that at times, my heart is gripped with doubts. Yes, I am being painfully honest. I have been driving down the road minding my own business, when suddenly out of nowhere, a thought comes to me, “What if all that I believe about God and salvation is not real?” Panic might set in, and if I listen to my weak fleshly thoughts, there is no peace and comfort. I believe it is normal for Christians to experience this. We live in a world where the entire culture and environment is under the dominion of sin and fear. I believe God gives us grace to rise above those fears and doubts while we are connected to Christ, but the flesh and fear do exercise their wicked muscles at times. We struggle with doubts, fears, panics not because we are not good enough, but because we are saints living in a hostile world. We struggle with screams of fear because although we are in Christ, related to God, and forgiven; we are walking by faith, yet without sight. But one day, dear beleaguered Christian, one day-our faith will be sight. We can see the smile of God, his acceptance of us because of Christ’s propitious sacrifice through the lens of faith, but I am so thankful that one day, I will see the smile of God with these eyes. Yes I will endure pains and death will bring this to pass, but I know I shall live again and my Creator and Redeemer will smile and I will finally know what it means in actual realized fulfillment–“Accepted in the Beloved.”
I thank God for my earthly love and companion, my wife. And I thank God for my eternal advocate and friend, Jesus Christ-far surpassing grace than any earthly companion.
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