Sadbook

I discovered an interesting article over at Slate.  Slate is by no means a Christian site and is usually very political.  Much on that site I disagree with, but this article fascinated me in its dealing with human behaviors.  We often speak of technology’s negative effects on humans in the simple concrete aspects (i.e. too much TV is bad, pornography on the internet is too easily accessed, misinformation that is on the web in places like wikipedia), but this article focuses on a more subtle effect social networking sites have upon us humans. I have a facebook account, I use it primarily to communicate news, blogs, and quotes that encourage or interest me; however, I absolutely have seen and experienced the results of the study that Slate magazine is articulating.

I encourage you to read the article, but I am going to give a quick overview of the article’s premise.  A study of the moods of college freshman found that most were sadder after logging on to Facebook than before. That is a very simplistic overview; to understand how they researched, this read the whole article.  But the point was that when people see other “friends’ ” perfect lives on display on Facebook, it tended to create a depressed mood due to comparison.

By showcasing the most witty, joyful, bullet-pointed versions of people’s lives, and inviting constant comparisons in which we tend to see ourselves as the losers, Facebook appears to exploit an Achilles’ heel of human nature. And women—an especially unhappy bunch of late—may be especially vulnerable to keeping up with what they imagine is the happiness of the Joneses.

As does the idea that Facebook might aggravate this tendency. Facebook is, after all, characterized by the very public curation of one’s assets in the form of friends, photos, biographical data, accomplishments, pithy observations, even the books we say we like. Look, we have baked beautiful cookies. We are playing with a new puppy. We are smiling in pictures (or, if we are moody, we are artfully moody.) Blandness will not do, and with some exceptions, sad stuff doesn’t make the cut, either. The site’s very design—the presence of a “Like” button, without a corresponding “Hate” button—reinforces a kind of upbeat spin doctoring. (No one will “Like” your update that the new puppy died, but they may “Like” your report that the little guy was brave up until the end.)

This reminds me of a Scripture that addresses this very problem in human nature.  In 2 Corinthians 10, Paul is addressing that absolute foolishness of getting into a spiritual “one-up-manship” debate with the Corinthians and their teachers.  Evidently there were individuals who were suggesting the congregation should not listen to Paul in his Apostolic authority because he was “spiritually inferior” in devotion.  They subsequently accused him of ill-motives in condemning their sinful behaviors.  They said his letters were powerful, but he really is a small man in physical presence.  They were saying he was all bark and no bite. Now Paul’s response is worthy of note. He doesn’t respond to that accusation by biting.  Instead, he tells them that he does not dare compare himself with those who are commending themselves because those that compare themselves among themselves are not wise (they are fools) (2 Cor. 10:12).  It is trend of human nature to keep up with the Joneses, to compare our success (or lack thereof) to what we perceive as others success (or lack thereof).  Comparing our lives to “Facebook” lives of others is easy to do, but still foolish.

Of course their children are all smiling in the profile photo, no one puts a photo of their kid picking his nose.  Of course the video of their kid is cute, no one puts up a video of him angrilyy stomping out of the house and kicking the dog.  And you will see the status update, “With God all things are possible” but never “I wonder if God loves me because my faith is too weak to see His goodness right now.”  You may not see that as a status update, but if you are a real Christian, you have thought that.  But don’t compare your life to the plastic life of Facebook “friends.”

The study showed that women were mostly affected by this trend in Facebook comparison.  This could be that the majority of men use the social profile to gather news or disperse news and comment on events, while women are more likely to post pictures and videos.  Teens, however, are also being greatly affected by the social networks.  The article points out this regarding teens.

Facebook is “like being in a play. You make a character,” one teenager tells MIT professor Sherry Turkle in her new book on technology, Alone Together. Turkle writes about the exhaustion felt by teenagers as they constantly tweak their Facebook profiles for maximum cool. She calls this “presentation anxiety,” and suggests that the site’s element of constant performance makes people feel alienated from themselves. (The book’s broader theory is that technology, despite its promises of social connectivity, actually makes us lonelier by preventing true intimacy.)

Parents ought to be cautious about the time their teens spend on Facebook and other social media, not just because of stalkers, and perverts, but also because Facebook has opened up a brand new world of peer pressure, one that is as large as the world wide web.  Teens see the perfect beautiful pictures and constant “fun” their peers are supposedly experiencing and it can lead to depression and discouragement in their own God-given existence.  My suggestion is that we teach young people how to use Facebook and other social media how to minister for the glory of God. Sharing prayer requests, posting Scripture, talking about real spiritual issues of life is a real start.  Proverbs tells the young to “Guard their Heart” for out of it are the issues of life.  This would include social networks.

Really, Facebook is not real socializing.  It is a presentation.  It is like going on a first date, where everyone dresses up and tries to behave in such a way that makes the other person pleased.  Compare that to a relationship after several years of marriage, where you wake up in the morning from the heavy, smelly breathing of your spouse, the kids are late for school, the dog is barking at some neighbor’s cat, and the house is wreck.  We know that there is life as it is presented (the date) but we also know that there is life as it is actually (the marriage).  My contention is that the second is not worse than the first, just different.  The article says it well:

We might do well to consider Facebook profiles as something akin to the airbrushed photos on the covers of women’s magazine. No, you will never have those thighs, because nobody has those thighs. You will never be as consistently happy as your Facebook friends, because nobody is that happy.

A Christian might balk at that last statement, but understand, the deep joy that comes from knowing Christ is not the same thing as being all smiles and happy.  The Christian joy is deeper than temporal happiness of this world and its trends.  The Christian can have a deep seated joy while the tears flow unbidden down our cheeks.  The Christian does not have an easy life, but we have One who leads us through the struggles of life.  We Christians ought not to live a pessimistic, sky is falling existence–for we have a sovereign God who holds us in the palm of his “hand.”  But we also as Christians ought to be careful not to wear masks, shielding our struggles and doubts.  The warning here is not to start a negativity campaign and to start posting depressing updates on Facebook, but rather to be careful that we discern that which is real and that which is a product of our peer-comparison.  We have one measure, the stature of the fullness of Christ (Eph. 4:12). That is demanding enough, I don’t want to add a burden of comparing myself to others as well.