8 Years and Counting

Tuesday, my lovely wife and I celebrated 8 years of wonderful marriage. Of course, we have had struggles and trials, but we have had them together; and it has been 8 beautiful years. Our marriage is not perfect and I confess we have had some selfish actions and disagreeable attitudes along the way; however, as we looked back, we could honestly say that we have drawn each other closer to God and to each other over the years.

I asked my wife to think about three practical reasons that our married life has been so pleasant (Circumstances have not always been pleasant, but our relationship has been consistently so). Meanwhile I thought of the same question and waited to see if our answers matched up. I suggested to her to avoid general answers like “communication” or “love for God” and to be really practical. Our three answers were the same and by God’s grace, we will have many more wonderful years as we continue to grow in these areas.

3. A commitment to our own and the other’s spiritual growth. Frankly put, we desire to put God first. Instead of asking ourselves what is good, what is pleasant, what is comfortable. . . we desire to ask ourselves “What is holy, and right, and Godly?”

2. A commitment to solving our disagreements and reconciling quickly. When we were first married we chose to take the proverb literally that says, “Let not the sun go down upon your wrath.” I remember there have been times when we got little sleep because we were up into early morning hours reconciling and seeking understanding in disagreement. We have learned (and still are learning) to allow the other to reconcile in his/her timing. And we have been learning for 8 years what it means to “not look on our own things, but to look on the things of others.”

3. A commitment to “we” with openness and honesty. Before our anniversary, my wife commented that if I could keep the events I had planned for her secret, it would be the first time. I can keep secrets, just not from my wife, and I view that as a compliment. I don’t want to keep secrets from her. I want to tell her everything. I want to rejoice with her and I want to weep with her. We have nothing separate. Nothing is mine and nothing is hers, it is ours-and ultimately we recognize it is God’s on loan to us for stewardship purposes. Of course we are not perfect, we struggle with selfishness, but by God’s glorious grace he has enabled us (and I pray it will continue) to have a level of honesty and openness so that I feel I could speak freely for my wife and she for me. We have shared sins, struggles, disappointments, blessings, joys, and everything else because we are “two becoming one.”

I was very happy to have my wife say the same answers I did and vice versa. I love the woman God has given me and I pray that God would increase our love for him and each other as long as we both shall live.

3 Comments

  1. Jordan said:

    Wow, that is awesome.

    July 26, 2009
  2. Mark Worden said:

    Praise the Lord! Thanks for your openness.

    July 29, 2009
  3. bfpower said:

    Wonderful! Congratulations, and thank you for sharing. You guys are a great example to us kiddos.

    August 5, 2009

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.