She Said, “Yes!”

Event #3

This Thursday, July 21, 2011, my dear wife and I will celebrate 10 years of mutually delightful wedded joy with God as the witness between us in our covenant of marriage. In my previous post, I mentioned how blessed I was to be associated with a godly young woman with the courage to tell me, “no” regarding our future. I thank God for that monumental event for it was a watershed moment in my life leading me to utter abandonment in the will and service to King Jesus. But I would be lying if I didn’t say it was one of the hardest relational events I have ever dealt with. I was crushed emotionally, physically, and even spiritually when she said, “no.” But I needed that crushing to be one step (believe me, there are many more to come) of my sanctification. But this post is about a much more delightful event: the day my sweet one said, “Yes.” I can still remember the trembling in my voice, the uncertainty in my mind (although we had already talked about the big event of marriage and she had assured me she wanted to marry me), and the beating drum-line of my heart. As I fell to one knee, I blurted out the words, “Bonnyiluvuwithallmyhartwuldjumrryme????” Yep, I was that classy and graceful. Later she would recount that she didn’t understand a word I said, but saw the ring and figured out what I was very hopelessly trying to communicate. But let me back up and indulge me a moment as I tell the back story of this tremendous event in our lives (for those of you who hate listening to engagement stories, skip down to the last paragraph where things will get a little less cheesy).

After our short stint of being apart from one another (see the previous post), we reunited and began to pursue a romantic relationship once again. This time, however, I was intent on not blowing it. I determined that she was going to like me, not just dutifully love me. We had a wonderful conclusion of our junior year of college, but as God would ordain it. We were destined for different summers. I was to serve at a Bible camp for the summer with no phone or internet service and she was to serve a mission down in Argentina. When she was going to be home, I was going to be away; and vice versa. Absence does not make the heart grow fonder, it makes it grow jealous, foolish, and idiotic. That summer was very difficult. Finally, we both believed we knew that our future was to be discovered together, but we couldn’t communicate. God used that time apart to teach us about the art of communication…well, what not to do anyways. It was good for us to be apart though and having as our primary mode of communication the lost art of handwritten letters. I tried my hand at ridiculous poetry (so did she, so stop laughing) and we did the best we could as silly love-struck fools to keep it together. Finally, we were going back to finish our senior years at college. Looking back on it now, both of us say that that summer was hard in a lot of ways, but very important in forming the future of our ministry lives together. We learned better how to be patient with one another, but also to not let our love for one another consume us in ministry. To look outside of our relationship in service to others and not to become one of those annoying couples who sat and gazed longingly in each others eyes while needy people passed by (I think I might throw up a little just writing about it).

I had planned to go a week early to visit her and then to drive her and her friend to college. I arrived at her house and we spent lovely days playing games with and visiting her family and friends and spending some relaxing afternoons on the beach of Lake Michigan. Then came the day. I hadn’t planned it this way, but I woke up one morning in the “guest room” and decided today was the day I would ask her to marry me. I had planned to wait about a month (you know, to keep it a surprise), but just decided now was as good as any. So we planned a little picnic on the beach (I know cliche’ huh?). We were walking along the shore (okay, this gets a little silly, sorry) and I pretended that I had dropped something. I bent down to “get it” and then pulled out a ring, opened my mouth and poured out an awful mess of words strung together in one breath with no sense of order or intelligence. As I said before, neither she nor I could understand the words coming out of my mouth, but she got the idea and she said, “Yes!” Even though we had talked about it, I was still in shock that she was willing to marry me. I don’t remember anything that happened after that for the next few days because I was up in the clouds. I came down soon, though because school was ready to start and we would be engaged for a year before the second most important day of my life took place.

Every time I think of this event, it makes me chuckle of how awkward I was (am??). But it also reminds me of how Christ chose his bride, the church. Nothing good in us caused him to choose us. Not because of good or evil, but that the purposes of God according to election might stand. I did not deserve the gracious affirmation given by this beautiful bride-to-be. But neither do any of us deserve the gracious offer of salvation and love God has mercifully bestowed upon his people. The grace of my wife in loving me pales in comparison to the grace of God in providing salvation to my soul. Praise the King of kings.

One Comment

  1. Ellen Thum said:

    Love, love, love y’alls love story…and the reminder of Christ love for us. What a blessing to read your Christian Joe blog and Ed and I will be forever amazed about how our fervent prayers were answered two years and two months ago when we all stumbled (no, led to) on your church website. We pray for you, Bonnie and the boys every day. 🙂

    July 20, 2011

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